Dear Dr. Love:
I’m a single woman in my mid-forties. I’ve been dating several men since my divorce two years ago (after 24 years of marriage). The divorced men I date claim they are looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship with a quality woman who has integrity and honesty. Well, that’s me! So I think they are full of s**t! I realize that what they say is not what they are looking for. After all the talk, most men just want a “roll in the sack” and then move on to the next “naïve victim of deceit.”
Am I attracted to the wrong men or am I misunderstanding what “dating the second time around is all about?”
Dear Love Misunderstood,
Neither you nor I require a “Doctorate in Dating” to know that members of either sex will say and do what is necessary to accomplish their agenda…whatever it may be.
While I sense hostility (disappointment?) in your email, I think you need to be more personally accountable for why you are attracting, shall I say, “players.”
You’re obviously a sensitive and trusting individual seeking more than a one night stand. So don’t give it up so easy (sorry, fellas). I’ve come to realize that dating is the ability to master the art of human emotions. It is not a science with set answers.
Believe me, you’re not misunderstanding anything in your dating experiences. You’re just on a journey. Have fewer expectations and just try to enjoy it. No one man (or woman) will have it all. But if you find one who does, try to keep him or her for the long term.
Till next month, happy dating! Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You’re invited! My next “Dating…the 2nd Time Around” workshop is scheduled for Monday, August 10th at 7pm at Commack Public Library located at 18 Hauppauge Road. Admission is free but you must reserve a seat. Call (631) 499-0888. Bring your friends and say, “Hi.”