Live Stand-Up

A dummy, some props and a DJ

September brings two unique comedy acts to Long Island on the same weekend of September 4th and 5th. Long Island’s own Vince Dantona and his ventriloquist’s dummy George gained national attention when they were the very first winners of $10,000 on America’s Funniest People. Vince and George have been entertaining the Long Island community for decades and will be in Nassau County at Governor’s. Freddy Stone, who’s better known as the “Master of the Boston Props” invades Suffolk County with his trunk full of humor to bring laughter to McGuire’s in Bohemia. Two very funny, yet very different types of comedy.

Vince Dantona and George
Sept 4-5
Governor’s Comedy Cabaret and Restaurant, Levittown
(516) 731-3358, govs.com

V: How long can someone live without brains George?
G: I don’t know…how old are you?

V: What are you gonna be when you get out of school?
G: I don’t know…about your age.

Freddy Stone
Sept 4-5
McGuire’s Comedy Club, Bohemia
(631) 467-5413, http://www.mcguirescomedyshows.com

I love doing weird things, I use to work at a drugstore once, but they fired me, cause I used to take the labels off the Preparation H and stick them on the Denture Grip. It was fun watching the people come in the next day for the refund, they would say things like: “You got anything for constipation? Like maybe a backhoe?” –Freddy Stone

Geno Bisconte w/ Glen Miller & Danny Lofaro
Sept 18-19, 7:30-10:30pm
Jokerz Wild Comedy Club, Plainview
(516) 830-1945, http://www.jokerzwildcomedyclub.com

If i wanna have fun I’ll run into an AA meeting with a Scotch and yell, “Here’s to you… ya friggin quitters!” —Geno Bisconte

I love walking through the mall and getting eye contact with another short guy. We give each other that whole nod of approval like we’re in some secret society. “I feel your pain brother. What do you say we grow some hair on our feet and look for a ring in a far away land.” –Danny Lofaro

DJ Hazard
Sept 25-26
The Brokerage Comedy Club, Bellmore
(516) 781-5233, http://www.brokeragecomedy.com

I live in an apartment building and hate running into my neighbors in the hall, especially when I’m carrying something they threw out. – DJ Hazard

I hate when I’m typing a letter and that “Paper Clip Guy” shows up on my computer screen. I hate that guy so much I grab a few paper clips, hold them up in front of the screen and say “I have your family.” – DJ Hazard