Winter Live Stand-up

As the year comes to a close one of the best ways to end it is sharing a night of laughter with good friends and family. You can enjoy a funfilled evening that includes dinner, a comedy show and a midnight champagne toast at most venues. I hope that 2010 brings you joy, happiness and lots of laughs.

Carl Labove
Governor’s Comedy Cabaret and Restaurant, Levittown
(516) 731-3358,

The dumbest animal I’ve ever seen in my life has to be the wildebeests. Two thousand pounds, horns, hoof—lions run up and eat them like apples. And they just stand there and allow themselves to be eaten. You’re at home watching TV yelling, “Kick! Kick!”—Carl

Richie Byrne
The Brokerage Comedy Club, Bellmore
(516) 781-5233,

Maria Walsh, Jimmy Q
McGuire’s Comedy Club, Bohemia
(631) 467-5413,

I’m thinking if you’re gonna get a tattoo get one that will fit in later on in life, like a big juicy spider vein on your leg, maybe a stretch mark on your lower back. Guys—have your house number on your arm in case you forget how to get home. —Maria Walsh

Otto & George, Heather Height
Jokerz Wild Comedy Club, Plainview
(516) 830-1945,

Otto: So it’s good to be in New York. We’re actually from Jersey.
George: Yeah, New Jersey, where a fart is refreshing. Jersey is the only state where if someone farts in the car, they roll the windows up.”
I talked my husband into getting a vasectomy and then we got divorced. I felt bad at first but then I realized it’s a shame not to have them fixed before releasing them into the wild.
—Heather Height