Dear Dr. Love,
I was married for 15 years when my wife left me for someone else (whom she never stayed with). I paid child support and college for two children, both now married with two kids each of their own. A few years later, I met “Patty” who I lived with for 12 years and had hoped to marry. It did not happen. On Sept. 16, 2008 she told me that she did not love me anymore. I moved out! My problem. I’m lonely. I need a woman to hold in my arms and to lovingly hold me in her arms. I’m 56, good looking, slim and a good dancer, yet for the last several months I can’t even get a “first date.” I need help!
Your letter reminds me of the joke about a man who comes home early from work to find his wife in the arms of his best friend. “What are you two doing?” he shouted. “See?” The woman told her lover…”I told you he was stupid and naive!”
In all candidness, your problem is not at all that unique, and I do empathize with you. After your 15-year marriage and subsequent 12-year live-in relationship, you have every right to feel lonely—very lonely. Heck, I was married for 30+ years, with four great sons, in a huge home with a pool and tennis court, and I just refused to see a break-up coming, I had it all, didn’t you?
But you and I (and most readers) have to understand that the only constant in our lives is change—some of it good, some of it not. But as humans, we have to accept it all (including stock market losses).
My advice to you is simple: Enjoy each beautiful day with joyous anticipation. Keep going to dances and have fun. Place less emphasis on the “hunt.” Where and when you lease expect it, your “new find” will come along. And you’ll never know until it “hits you.” Trust me.
Readers, what do you think? Send your comments and email me your questions to Drlove@nulllipulse.com. And until next month, Happy Dating!