Dr. Love,
I had the pleasure to meet you at the November LI singles Lifestyle Expo held at the Marriott Islandia Hotel. At your lecture, you invited audience members to send you a question. During the holidays I get a little blue, maybe even depressed. I tend to drink too much knowing my teenagers live with my ex-wife in the house we once shared. Any guidance?
Paul, Bethpage

Dear Paul,
Don’t be so hard on yourself. When you combine the bitter cold winter months with holidays such as Christmas, New Year’s and even the upcoming Valentine’s Day, feelings have to come to the surface.

Both men and women lose an awful lot during a divorce, in emotional as well as material terms. After four years, I am still harboring strong resentment for no longer having a lifelong partner, nor being able to see my youngest son on a day to day basis, losing a prestigious home with two fireplaces, Jacuzzi, gym, pool, tennis court, etc. All you can do is hold your head high and live each day.

You know Paul, it’s never a bad thing to seek out the support of a trusted friend (who knows how to keep things in confidence) or a professional healthcare provider. One tip: The less said to your children, the better off you are. Oftentimes, a fresh perspective is all you need to get through tough times.

I have found that if you take photos at happy events A.D. (after divorce) and put them in the refrigerator, it can make you a happier person. I have a photo of my Cobalt Bowrider, which is in winter storage. Whenever I look at the picture, I realize I’m one day closer to the opening of the 2010 boating season. I’ll take a photo of a special lady friend or two—always works!

And finally, think how lucky you are if you are not in a serious relationship this Valentine’s day, you don’t have to worry about what to buy her…you can save your money or spend it on yourself! You are in a win-win situation.
Until next month, happy dating! Send your emails to Drlove@nulllipulse.com.