Dear Professor Love,
Last Saturday, I took an obviously entitled woman to a great steak restaurant in Great Neck. It was expensive (almost $200) but what really disturbed me was her constant use of her cell phone. First it was a call from her babysitter while we had drinks. Then during the meal she picked up a call from her so-called closest friend. Finally she texted her “ex” about some upcoming event. Am I wrong to be pissed off?
Thanks for the advice.
Will, Brookville, NY
You’re preaching to the choir, Will. I’m old enough to have grown up in a different era—the PHTU (Pre-High Tech Use). It was a time when a man and woman had no choice but to concentrate on every word being spoken between them. There were no distractions to interrupt free-flow conversations.
But, today, between iPods, mp3 players, your Treo or BlackBerry, dating and intimacy between individuals is quickly becoming extinct. I know people who keep these devices under their pillows while making love (sic). It seems that everyone is coming to your private party.
It’s my highly educated opinion that many pre-teens, teenagers, gen x young adults, and yes, baby-boomers use these tools as security blankets.
Ever walk into a bar and observe people? Even if a person is alone, perhaps waiting for a friend or date to arrive, he or she is on the phone with someone. At a health club, even though signs clearly are posted “cell-free zone,” men and women are on treadmills spilling their personal business for all to hear. Only those with iPods are zoned into their own “la-la” land, oblivious to the world around them.
Will, the fact that your dinner date chose to interrupt your alone time with her, not once, not twice, but three times was rude, selfish and candidly proved indifference to you. You have every right to be angry. She was a disrespectful date. Period. Next!
I can’t figure out why people choose to disconnect today. Is an email or a text really communicating? I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.