Hello Dr. Love,
While riding the Orient Point Ferry this past week I came across your article. My question is: What would be an appropriate way to get the attention, or send a signal, to a gentleman I may find attractive when I’m out socially? I believe I’m missing opportunities by not giving some indication that I find someone appealing.
Thank you, I need some support.
It’s nice to know that LI Pulse is a “must-read” on the Orient Point Ferry. It’s also nice to know there are women who want to reach out to a man. But how?
Dolores, men don’t always feel comfortable if a woman is the aggressive one…think back to the old caveman days. Men aren’t really as ignorant as they appear. Your smile is all that is required. He may not want to reciprocate (that is for another column), but trust me, you have made your point. I asked some very trusted people for their input on this issue:
My favorite wingman, Joe said, “One of the most frustrating things about the single lifestyle is the difficulty implicit in meeting appealing strangers. You (We) are opening ourselves up to our own perceived ignominy of failure. Be prepared for the possibility of being rebuffed. Maintain a positive outlook and good things will happen.”
My son Jordan’s beautiful girlfriend, Lindsay, gave a woman’s perspective by saying, “A woman just has to tell a bartender or waiter that she would like to buy him a drink. When he receives it, the opportunity for her to start a conversation is there… Men often get the vibe that women have the ‘I am too good for you attitude,’ when in fact, they are just shy. A woman will never be approached by a man if she doesn’t show a down-to-earth demeanor.”
Finally, my good buddy Jeff, a self-confessed ladies man, says, “What man does not like a sincere compliment? However, if he is not attracted to the woman giving the compliment, it’s over! You will get no response but a simple ‘Thank you.’ I suggest a woman be somewhat ‘cavalier’ in her approach so as not to appear to be desperate…engage with extreme confidence. Remember women still love to be chased.”
Readers, what do you think? Please email me your comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. Until next month, happy dating!