Internet Donk

I was in the early stages of a big buy-in World Poker Tour tournament. One that was full of players who won their seats online in small buy-in satellite tournaments. A majority of these internet players are accustomed to playing multiple tables online simultaneously. And they play crazy. Raising and reraising all the time no matter what cards they’re holding. The philosophy makes sense when playing so many tables online; if they lose, they just move on to the next one and if their aggression pays off, they’re in better shape to win the tournament. But in a live tournament, if they lose all their chips, there isn’t another tourney they can just jump into.

I was in the big blind when an internet donk raised it from middle position. I looked down at pocket Jacks. I reraised the pot and he went all-in instantly. I was pretty sure I had him beat though it was likely he held Ace-King in which case it was a coin flip. I knew better than to risk my tournament life on a fifty-fifty shot at this point, so I folded.

As the tournament progressed, I built my chip stack slowly but surely, avoiding big pots and winning as many small pots as I could. The Donk and several of his cohorts continued their ultra-aggressive play. Some made their moves at the wrong times and were sent to the rail while The Donk ran over everyone else and built a huge chip lead.

I was in the little blind when The Donk raised from middle position. I looked down at Pocket Kings. “I reraise,” I said, betting the pot. The Donk immediately pushed all his chips in and I insta-called. He turned over Ace-5 of spades. We watched as the flop came down 4, 6, 7, rainbow, giving him an open-ended straight draw. The turn was a King, giving me three of a kind and taking away three of his outs, but he could still win with an 8 or a 3. The river was a 4, pairing the board, giving me a full house and I doubled up. The huge pot gave me a slight chip lead over The Donk and everyone else at the table was way behind.

The next hand, I was in the little blind and The Donk raised again, same as the last time. I looked down at Pocket Aces and raised the pot, same as last time. The Donk went all-in as expected and I called. He turned over 6-7 of hearts. The flop came down King, Ace, 2. The Donk was drawing dead and he knew it. He got up in a huff and blurted, “Stupid internet donkeys don’t belong here.”