Girl Crushes

I admit, I’m not always the first to hear about something. But I do consider myself a pretty astute guy. Still, this one caught me off guard.

We were coming back from a meeting, me and my female associate in my car , the other two of our entourage in another car, one of whom was Cindy. Cindy is one of those executives who is always in control. She is the no-fail player on our team who is like an ace up the sleeve, so we bring her on meetings with top guns even if she isn’t going to work directly on the client once the deal is done.

“Did you see Cindy go? She walks into the room and owns it!” This last part peaked my interest—to say Cindy is attractive is an understatement. “And then she just starts talking…God! Instant girl crush!”

“Yes,” I think, “Bring it on. Wherever this is going, it beats the Mad Dog.” I lower the radio, “Girl crush?”

My colleague explains then, with some surprise I didn’t already know about this—and mischief at telling me a secret from the opposite camp—a girl crush is somewhat what it sounds like except, true to female form, it’s much more complicated.

Now, I’m just a guy, but for the sake of my fellow clueless male counterparts, here’s a glimpse from the ladies’ room: A girl crush is when one woman is in awe of another. When she admires the way another woman has about her—manner of speech, intellect, character and all the intangible peculiarities that make a lady who she is. And looks are part of it, but not in a homoerotic sort of way, not really at least. It’s more like a model—the crushee sees attractive qualities of the crusher’s looks, attire, hair or style and wants to adopt them as her own.

Confused? Me too. Is it a mommy-dress up sort of thing? Damned if I know. I guess it’s kind of like the way ladies hawk after fashion models. But it seems this is also a doomed kind of thing, especially given the proximity of the idol (nobody wants to have the vision of perfection staring her in the face all the time).

A month later, after weeks of idolizing Cindy, we had a similar situation coming back from a meeting. Similar, but for the very different tone of my female carpooler.

“Did you see Cindy?” My colleague hissed. “She thinks she owns the room. And when she starts talking, it’s like she thinks she’s holding court…”

I knew better than to bring up the question of girl crush, anthropology be damned. Remember: Sometimes, networking is about knowing what not to say. And when King Kong and Godzilla are having a (cat) fight, it’s best to not say anything at all.

If you have samples of human study to share with Lempa, email him at nabob@nulllipulse.com.

pat lempa

Pat Lempa is not a favor fountain, but is available at nabob@lipulse.com