Missed your chance to score tickets for the SOLD OUT Captain Lawrence Brewing Company beer dinner at The Good Life (1039 Park Blvd., Massapequa Park, NY; (516) 798 – 4663; http://www.thegoodlifeny.com/) on 12/14?

SUX 4 U, LOLOLOL.

Kidding.

The Good Life has been gracious enough to donate not one, but TWO tickets to Super Neat Beer Adventure, Yes!! for the sure-to-be-sicknasty pairing, so let us skip the normally-provided cutesy banter and give these precious babies away.

“But how will you do so, Niko Krommydas?”

I am glad you asked, ________________. After several hours of intense deliberation (see: wastebasket free throw shooting contests and an obscene amount of skim milk), we here at Super Neat have decided that a beer-related scavenger hunt would be sufficient in determining the winner.

“But why a scavenger hunt, Niko Krommydas?”

Because, ________________, Pogo the Clown wants a scavenger hunt. And whatever Pogo the Clown wants, Pogo the Clown receives.

That’s why.

Here are the official scavenger hunt requirements:

1) Find a lawnmower. ANY lawnmower. Hug that specific lawnmower. Snap a photograph while doing so.

2) Consume one beer (draft or bottle) at The Good Life with the letter “P” in the beer name (not the brewery—a correct example would be Goose Island Pere Jacques; Southampton Double White is incorrect) and snap a photograph of yourself in the act. Be sure to let me know what the beer is within your submission entry, as well.

And the very last step:

3) Snap a photograph of yourself, anywhere, with a sign that reads “I <3 SUPER NEAT BEER ADVENTURE, YES!!"

First person to complete all of the steps will be declared the winner. All entries can be emailed to niko@nulllipulse.com.

Note: ALL steps must be completed in FULL. If even one small smidgen of scavenger is left out, your submission shall not be considered.

Happy Huntin’!