My boyfriend bought me a beautiful necklace for Valentine’s Day, but it’s just not my style. I’ll never wear it, I mean never, but he was so excited to give it to me, and so nervous he was practically shaking. I would love to return it, what should I do?
Dear “No-no necklace,”
You are a very lucky lady. Your boyfriend bought you something for Valentine’s Day. Most guys shy away from jewelry for exactly this reason. Just think, you could have gotten a box of chocolates! I would absolutely not return the necklace. Wear it. Let him see you wear it. If he was practically shaking giving it to you, he was very nervous and concerned that you wouldn’t like it. You mean that much to him. It is not the necklace that means so much to you, is it? I hope it is the guy who gave it to you. So wear it, make him feel wonderful and within the next year, hint to him that you understand buying something for you makes him nervous and stressful and you appreciate it.
If I have this wrong and you are more about the necklace than the guy, then go ahead and return it and then put him out of his misery—break up with him and let him find someone who appreciates his thoughtfulness.
And to the guys, if you are paying attention to this, women stress over this too. So make it easy on everyone, learn about your lady—take her with you, watch her smile as you walk her over to the jewelry counter. She will show you what she likes. Trust me.
Jeanie—A dream believer!
How long have you been pampering this mama’s boy? Did you realize he had no confidence when you started dating? Did you hide your true feelings, your true tastes in clothing, jewelry, how you like to dress and what you enjoy from day one? Did he pay attention to what you wear?
You need to be able to share real feelings, real thoughts and real opinions when getting to know someone no matter what the situation. That being said, you also need to share the simple fact that you have specific tastes and it’s very difficult to pick out jewelry for anyone. A solution would be a gentle suggestion that you go together, return it together and shop together and help him understand what you like by letting you pick out two or three items of the same value and then walk away while he chooses. It will still be “his” choice and a nice surprise.
More importantly, there is a little part of the journey in the growth of a relationship that you must not overlook. If you can’t share the truth about what you like and don’t like, what do you have? After all, the gift was about you and when it’s all said and done, it can now be about the two of you learning and taking one more step towards compatibility and understanding.
Garrett—Happy and lovin’ life!