Note: Readers must convey their adoration of The Red Zone with only the use of exaggerated, Hulk Hogan-like mannerisms (e.g., oscillated ear clasp).
Angelina’s Fireshack & Pizzeria
(516) 326-0100, New Hyde Park
Eazy Cheezy Peazy! And 750ml bottles of Duvel, Brewery Ommegang Three Philosophers, and Sierra Nevada Brewing Company Ovila Abbey Dubbel. And the entire Sixpoint Craft Ales can series. And…
The Good Life
(516) 798-4663, Massapequa Park
To be recited with one’s bullhorn-emphatic, monster truck rally commercial voice-over voice: “SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! Witness everyone’s favorite bandana-in-back-pocket tender of Roseanne Barr as he streams 24 drafts—including constants such as Gulden Draak, Piraat, Delirium Tremens and Ayinger Celebrator—and dispenses dishes to adoring patrons!” Come visit.
(516) 579-7049, Bethpage
Can’t find Brooklyn Brewery Concoction, an ode to penicillin with “peaty Scotch, ginger-infused honey, and lemon juice,” anywhere else on Long Island.
(631) 734-5123, New Suffolk
A renovation project by owners Diane and Dennis Harkoff between November of 2010 and May 2011 eradicated previous obstruction issues (with a heightened ceiling and larger windows, Cutchogue Harbor and Peconic Bay are now visible from the restaurant’s interior) and improved handicap accessibility. Recent Sunday lunchzilla: Egyptian-style shrimp dukkah (spice mixture of ground pecans, coriander, cumin, pepper, and fennel; red quinoa and eggplant timbale; ancho chili aioli and blood-orange coulees drizzle); tuna napoleon (raw tuna with miso-ginger vinaigrette and seaweed salad between crispy wontons); and pistachio semifreddo with chocolate ganache and Widmer Brothers Brewing Company Pitch Black IPA.
CANZ a Citi Roadhouse
(631) 654-2269, Patchogue
Third and most recent member of the Wu-Tang Can (other components comprising the 36th Chamber of CANZ a Citi Roadhouse: Ol’ Dirty Westbury and Ghostface Astoria), with a pert ensemble of 48DD(rafts) and craft aluminum.
The Loyal Dog Ale House
Installation of an eight-line draft tower supplements their initial sixer, and now the dog pours from, not on, fourteen craft hydrants. A temporary tap hostage from Avery Brewing Company (The Reverend, Hog Heaven, IPA, The Maharaja) in July satiated while Man v. Food vanquished obese burritos with trucker hat soul.
Photo by Steven Lang