The Red Zone October 2011

Epileptic trees inhibit imbibery and subsequent happy-fun-yay time. [Front]
Damn you, Irene. [Back]
What is: Failed t-shirt tag-lines for non-hurricanes.


Waterzooi Belgian Bistro
(516) 877-2177, Garden City

Lots o’ mussel pot potentials (Homard, Waterzooi, Montrachet, Bouillabaisse, Lucifer, Fra Diavlo, Creole, Thai, Oreganato, Provencal, Fondue Moules, Farmhouse Ale, Paella) may cause Mussel Pot Lunch Selection Anxiety Disorder (MPLSAD), but not if one’s company is Val-Dieu Triple, a golden coin-colored Belgian with notes of plantains, honey, green grapes and sweet bread. And not if your waiter (or, in this case, waiterzooi) is this awesome:

“Your phone just got a text message. Would you like me to hand it to you?”

P.S. Val-Dieu and I selected the Farmhouse Ale mussel pot (North Country smoked bacon, oven-dried tomatoes, creamy farmhouse ale broth).

Mr. Beery’s
(516) 579-7049, Bethpage

Beery’s is an eighteen-year craft institution, and Steve is still behind the stick, pint-serving (our visit: Lagunitas Brewing Company Lucky 13, Great South Bay Brewery Robert Moses Pale Ale, and Tröegs Brewing Company HopBack Amber Ale) and recounting tales of weirdo Florida visitors. The whiskey education was cool, too. Bonus points and several 1UPs for the cigarette machine and taxidermy brown bear (more cuddles than Katahdin in Prophecy).


And Beery’s opens at 8:00AM for the graveyards.


Hometown Craft Brewery Loves Hugs.

The Tap Room
(631) 569-5577, Patchogue

After weeks of intensive statistical research and content analysis at Red Zone BioCorp, Inc., our team of quantum beericists confirm the distance between The Tap Room and Blue Point Brewing Company as 3,696’, or 44,352”, if one requires an additional unit of metric. Furthermore, the former establishment, The Tap Room, dedicates a five-line draft tower*, and a pint club, to the latter establishment, Blue Point Brewing Company. [Pause for audience contemplation. Ignore audience questions.] We shall now conclude with this: The Tap Room and Blue Point Brewing Company, sitting in a tree, B-E-E-R-I-N-G…

*Extra Special Bitter (ESB), Hoptical Illusion, RastafaRye Ale, Summer Ale, Toasted Lager

Declan Quinn’s
(631) 206-2006, Bay Shore

Interior: Three Great South Bay Brewery drafts, including one rotating, nitrogen-dispensed line (current: Splashing Pumpkin Ale).

Exterior: Three Great South Bay Brewery drafts, poured from patio wood fundeck (weather allowable).

Together: Six spiral notebook hearts around Great South Bay Brewery logo.

Translation: Hometown Craft Brewery Loves Hugs.

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Photo by Steven Lang