“Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice from Rock’s Ultimate Survivor” by Ozzy Osbourne

You can feel it down to your bones.

You’ve got a pain in the neck, for one thing. No, not that kind – a real pain in the neck and it’s not going away. Work has been a headache – literally – and your feelings are a little bruised. Maybe it’s all because you fell head over heels in love and broke your heart on a few sharp words.

It happens, you know.

Perhaps it’s time to seek counsel. Perhaps it’s time to grab “Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice from Rock’s Ultimate Survivor” by Ozzy Osbourne, and get an opinion from a doc that rocks.

When someone has endured 40 straight years of drinking and drug-taking, has lived through a few car-crashes, and has returned from the dead at least once, you’d expect him to know a thing or two about survival, right? That’s Ozzy Osbourne, who was approached a few years ago by a bloke who asked if Osbourne would write an advice column.

Osbourne was surprised, but decided to give it a go. He is, after all, an anomaly: until recently, doctors didn’t know how he withstood four solid decades under the influence. The fact that he survived surely qualifies him as advice-giver.

Doesn’t it?

Anyhow, once a week, someone rings him up and he dictates his column over the phone. He never even has to leave the house. But “To be honest with you,” he says, “I can… hardly believe the stuff people write to me about.”

In this book, the Doctor is In, offering common-sense advice on eating and dieting, addictions, additives, and the avoidance of cocaine in a diet plan. He explains how children “aren’t that much different from rock stars.” He tells how doctors discovered his secret for survival and what he learned about himself.

But Osbourne doesn’t stop at the physical. He tackles the subject of bullying and gives a young boy useful counsel. He questions why Americans don’t have better health care. He advocates treatment for depression and offers blunt truth about the side-effects of medication. He strongly urges readers to avoid drugs, and then rock’s Prince of Darkness talks about aging and the final, ultimate trip.

Okay, I scoffed when I got this book.

Ozzy? Advice? Can you blend the two?

As it turns out, yes! I was absolutely, delightfully surprised by the real advice in this book. Real, useful advice with thoughtful answers and the words “see your GP” in a healthy amount of entries. And if author Ozzy Osbourne didn’t have a genuine answer to a question, he danced around the subject and made me laugh.

I so enjoyed this book, in fact, that I found myself reading bits of it to everybody nearby. It’s funny, it’s classic Ozzy, it’s profane, and it’s educational in a strange, strange way.

Admittedly, this book won’t be the first place to check if you need real help, but if you’re looking for tongue-in-cheek (and semi-informative) advice, see this doctor. For you, “Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy” will tickle your funny bone.