The holidays are often referred to as the most amazing time to sit around, enjoy family, friends, traditions and fantastic food.

What most people leave out is the insane aunt, or the nagging mom who is begging for grandchildren or that one cousin who never seemed to learn when to stop talking. Whether you’re someone who genuinely enjoys every moment of the time with loved ones or the type who plans an exit strategy weeks before, you could probably use a little help navigating holiday guests and the family dinner. Long Island Pulse is here to help. This is the Pulse approved guide for surviving holiday guests.

It’s OK to Wine 

Vino. Lots and lots of vino…for everyone.

Plenty of good food, strong drinks and snide remarks for all!

Make a beeline for the cocktails…then locate the dog of the house and camp out with him for the night. If there’s no dog, the dessert table will do.

Drink heavily.

pulse staff

Start off with the family you like the least and end with your favorites. That’s when the drinks come out but for all the best reasons.

We mentioned alcohol, right? And start a tradition of unrelenting ball breaking…that and fried calamari and slightly tipsy Santa visits. 

image: felicia perretti

Stay on Kitchen Duty 

Be the chef and stay in the kitchen to avoid the craziness as much as possible.

image: lisa thornberg

Keep moving, a moving target is hard to hit. If they can’t find you, they can’t badger you. Oh, and drink.

Have an Exit Plan 

Dogs make a great excuse. Nothing gets you out of a conversation faster than, “Oh, I think my dog is about to pee on your floor…”

Fall into a food coma after dinner to avoid any further embarrassment from family.

Tell a Story  (Or Not) 

Have a list of accomplishments from the year to divert attention from the marriage and kids questions.

image: john antoniuk

Have a crazy story to tell. If you horrify them once, they’ll stop asking you about marriage and kids. 

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Just don’t go.