April 2011 Horoscopes

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    (January 20—February 18)
    When the moon is between signs, it’s like sitting behind the tall guy at the movie theater: Frustrating, with no end—or view—in sight. This month, the moon is void of course (ie: stuck) on the 23rd from 8:13pm to 1:59pm. During those hours, it’s not advisable to start, finish or even think about starting or finishing things. Oh, but if you want to write me fan mail, that’s been okayed by the cosmos.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    In horoscopes, as in life, moving forward is good. So when Mercury finally rights itself on the 23rd, so too will you. If April were a Disney film, that week would be the part where the sun comes out and all the animals smile and dance. (Just don’t get too attached to Bambi’s mom.) The rest of the month is your mini-golden age. Anything is possible—so get frolicking.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    You often feel like you get the short end of the stick, don’t you, Cancer? So you’re probably going to read into this when I tell you it’s not the full, but the second quarter lunar phase that falls in your sign on the 11th. But look on the bright side of the moon: You’ve got an amazing period of growth right around the corner—and you’re not going to turn into a werewolf!

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (December 22—January 19)
    If April were a Sesame Street episode, it would be brought to you by the letter “S” for “Suspicious.” With Pluto retrograde in your sign from the 9th until September 16th, you’ll suspect that a close friend is being tricky. Since spring cleaning doesn’t need to end with what’s in your closet, now is the time to people purge. Eliminating anyone who’s cluttering your life should be easy. It’s parting with shoes that’s going to be tough.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    If March came in like a lion, then April
    enters like a fire-breathing dragon that enjoys a side of lion with its eggs. But luckily, when the 15th rolls around, your scrambled life turns sunny-side up. With no major cosmic forces weighing on you, your clear mind and open heart will help you patch up an argument among friends and rise to the top at work. Pause for a moment and take a look around: Dare I say you’re the mane attraction?

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—August 22)
    With nasty Mercury retrograde harassing all signs from the 1st to the 23rd, you’re in for some trying times. That period of chaos affects every sign, so there’s a great risk of personalities clashing at work and home. Unless you play DJ and spin the tables in your direction, life could spiral out of control. Sure, you could hum the same tune that’s stuck in everyone else’s head, but I’d much rather you go out and find your very own song.

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    (September 23—October 22)
    Saturn had some anger problems. He got into this fight with his siblings that, oh, almost destroyed the universe. (And that’s nothing compared to what he did to his kids, but let’s not go there.) So when Mr. Family Issues enters on the 18th, you may be tempted to lash out at yours. Keep your anger in check and please don’t eat anyone.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (February 19—March 20)
    Hi-ho, Neptune! The god of horses gallops into your sign on the 4th, which is pretty appropriate since you can’t seem to hold yours lately. A stressful situation at the office has turned you into quite a nervous Nelly (or Nelson). Please, reign in your nerves. The work sector of your astrological chart is bright and you’ve got nothing to worry about. So why the long face?

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (November 22—December 21)
    People don’t pay much attention to
    the second quarter moon, but they should. When it hits your eye it’s not like a big pizza pie. It’s like a big spotlight shining on what you need to change. (Less tasty, but more helpful in the long run.) On the 11th, a stressful situation will come to a very steady boil—and this time, turning down the heat is not an option.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (October 23—November 21)
    The jolt of energy you’ll feel this month isn’t one that you can get from a can. It’s a zap only the full moon can provide. (And it’s free!) On or within three days of the 17th, you’ll feel reinvigorated and ready to fully immerse yourself in a new project or relationship. But sip slowly—otherwise, the fizzy lifting drink that is your life could totally bottom out.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20—May 20)
    The sun is pretty
    self-involved, which is understandable con-
    sidering it’s the center of the Solar System. When it enters your sign on the 20th, some of that ego rubs off on you—and if you don’t keep it in check, it’ll rub others the wrong way. Your job this month? Find the balance between knowing that you’ve totally got it going on—and not going on and on about it.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (August 23—September 22)
    When the moon is between signs from the 13th to the 14th, you should not pass go. You should not collect $200. And you definitely should not hang around tiny dogs or thimbles. But in all seriousness, those chaotic dates are not the right time to start a new relationship or finish a big project. Circle them on your calendar and write “play Monopoly.” Paper money is the only kind you should be toying with.

sydney levin

Sydney Levin is an extremely attractive writer living in New York City. She enjoys noodles and sloths, although not in that order.