Horoscope December 2012

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    Venus is a lover not a fighter. It pops in on the 31st to help undo the damage that occurred during a particularly horrible mid-month fight with a pal. You haven’t had the easiest few months and you’re tense. Like a good masseur, Venus will relieve your stress immediately—and it doesn’t even expect a tip. What a pal!

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    After November’s endless string of frustration, December will come as a huge relief. This is in part due to Mercury taking a backseat and your romantic life finally taking the wheel. Since you’ve smoothed things over with a partner or potential interest, you’ve been a much happier camper, and things will only get better after December 15th. The fire of your love will soon be strong enough to toast a stick full of marshmallows (delicious and usually gluten-free).

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    According to the Farmer’s Almanac, the full moon this month has a very complicated, deep name: The Full Cold Moon or the Full Long Nights Moon. Because I am a very famous astrologer, I can tell you this means that December is a very cold month with many long nights. Fancy explanations aside, it falls in your sign on the 28th and brings closure to a project or relationship you’ve been fixating on for weeks.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    Pluto definitely has had a chip on its shoulder since being demoted to dwarf planet. But you can’t let its attitude rub off on you, especially since it’s in your sign until 2023. Though it tends toward crankiness, it isn’t without perks. Pluto sheds light on what I like to call life cavities: Those bad bits that grow silently and can really hurt if you ignore them. Force yourself to take a close look at your pals in mid-January. You may be surprised by who needs to be brushed off.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    Jupiter is often called the “shepherd of the stars” because it’s great at guiding people toward what they need (and it has a real way with sheep). It also brings luck, so get ready for some great fortune from the 1st to the 22nd. If you’ve got an important contract to sign or are about to make a big decision, do it on the 1st or 17th. Those are bright shiny days when your head will be at its clearest (and your skin will look divine).

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    Few signs are as loyal and loving and as prone to alliteration as you, Leo. And that’s why you really deserve this cosmically calm month. With no major astro transits or lunar lunacy, things should be relatively quiet and stress-free. The only exceptions are the 1st and 2nd of the month when slow-moving Mercury throws all signs into upheaval. Much like a petulant child, the bratty planet can only annoy you if you let it.

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    After years of relationship turmoil, Venus finally smiled upon you in 2012. Many singles met a keeper, and a few takens (yeah, it’s a word, now) were reminded why they’re happy being kept. As the new year unfolds, your bliss continues only if you avoid pitfalls of jealousy and insecurity. Avoid giving into unattractive habits during the first two volatile weeks of December and your relationship will remain healthy.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    The second quarter moon on the 20th is like the fortune teller you see on the street hinting at what’s to come in the vaguest way possible. Since it’s in your sign, you’ll get an extra big window into your future. Any problem that comes during the last two weeks of the year will factor heavily into the first few months of 2013. But don’t worry—Magic 8-ball says that you’ll resolve your issues by January 17th. (It also says it misses the 80s.)

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    As a year of so many beginnings comes to an end, it’s fitting that the new moon falls in your sign on the 13th. Consider it a lunar reminder that exciting adventures are percolating just as 2013 is rising. As evidenced by its name, the new moon is all about birth, awakening and resurrection. If you’re feeling fertile, now is the time to try for a baby or get a new pet. If those options terrify you, invest in a nice rock. It’s a great listener without any of that pesky “being alive” junk.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    You are used to being the strongest force in the room—but powerful Scorpios meet their match in fierce Saturn. Instead of scuffling, go ahead and surrender to its transformative influence. Finally feel ready to face a foe at work on the 22nd? Thank Saturn for its strength. Suddenly realize the truth about a friend on the 26th? Thank Saturn for that clarity. Feel pretty hungry on the 22nd? Get yourself a sandwich. Saturn isn’t a chef for crying out loud.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    Though January’s Full Wolf Moon doesn’t fall in your sign on the 11th, it still ensures that you’ll have a howlin’ good month. Warning: It may also entice you to grow your hair and go hunting, but suppress this urge, it’s not your best look. There is no planetary action in your realm, so the first month of the new year is truly yours to rule. When asked to play judge at work on the 18th, eschew the easy choice and go with the fair one. A jury of your coworkers will definitely approve.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    As 2012 ends, it’s quite apropos that the fourth quarter moon falls in your sign on December 6th. Since the last slice of the lunar pie ushers in a cleansing period, tie up loose ends mid-month. Any project, relationship or problem you dust under the rug will come back to haunt you in January, so get busy with your emotional Swiffer. The cosmos knows it’s not easy to prune your world, so you’ll be rewarded in January if you succeed.