Jan 20—Feb 18
Goddess of love Venus typically makes every day feel like Valentine’s—but when it goes retrograde that cherub will cut it up. On the 25th, the planet is no longer drunk in love— it’s just plain drunk. Don’t make any major relationship decisions until the 26th and stay far, far away from Vegas.
March 21—April 19
Technically, the new moon on the 15th shines on everyone, but it only has craters for Aries in July. Kind rams would give anyone the stylish cardigan off their backs, but this month is all about self-renewal. Consider this cosmic permission to be selfish: now go forth and do whatever the heck sounds good.
June 21—July 22
In the Wizard of Oz, the lion needed courage and that trip down the yellow brick road would have been a lot easier if he only had some Sun. From the 9th to the 21st, Cancers get a cosmic blast of bravery just in time to confront a co-worker. Use words—not the water cooler—to vanquish that wicked foe.
Dec 22—Jan 19
Pluto asked its cosmic realtor about fixer-uppers and the dwarf planet saw one listing it loved: Capricorn. Pluto sticks around until 2023 to ensure the transformation that began back in 2008 is done right. Don’t let a feisty co-worker’s attitude on the 19th mess up the foundation that’s been laid.
May 21—June 20
The twin sign has so much pep it makes the Energizer Bunny look like a slacker. Mile-a-minute Gems can walk the line between annoying and endearing, but chaotic Mercury pushes them to a dangerously erratic place. From the 2nd to the 5th, it’s extra important to think before speaking—and in some cases, consider just not speaking at all.
July 23—Aug 22
If love were a dinner party, Leos would be the guests content with scraps when they deserve all three courses. Interestingly, lions of the cosmos can be reduced to mice when dealing with matters of the heart. Luckily, Venus enters on the 1st and helps Leos re-establish their role as king (and queen) of the romance jungle.
Sept 23—Oct 22
Though it’s not as famous as its planetary friends, the true node is one of the most important astrological aspects. The lighthouse of the cosmos helps guide signs during dark times—and hey, it rhymes! When the going gets tough on the 5th, it will ensure that scales can keep calm and carry on.
Feb 19—March 20
Baskin-Robbins may have 31 flavors but Pisces has 31 days of something even sweeter: a July without drama. See, when Mercury is in retrograde it serves up two scoops of crazy with a cherry on top—but it’s nowhere to be found until September 17th. Now that’s a treat that won’t go straight to the thighs.
Nov 22—Dec 21
The full blue moon on the 1st certainly won’t see Sags standing alone. The strong sign has a devoted following, as archers are adept at quietly commanding attention. Still, a social butterfly’s wings can grow tired and there’s nothing worse than a muted monarch. On the 20th, say “no” to a big celebration and “yes” to a party of one.
Oct 23—Nov 21
Unlike Devo, who should be very proud of their ability to whip it good, Scorpios can’t be taking people out left and right. Short-tempered Scorps are great at verbally eviscerating foes, that’s why Saturn is spending three years in the sign. Maturity isn’t the most impressive word, but it’s one Scorpions need to learn.
April 20—May 20
Like most revolutionaries, Uranus is misunderstood—and its rebel spirit grows stronger when it goes retrograde on the 26th. Like a cosmic alarm clock, the planet wants to jar us awake and open our eyes to injustice, whether large or small. Instead of seeing red when a problem unfolds on the 18th, channel the blue planet and attempt to mediate.
Aug 23—Sept 22
Describing a Virgo sounds a lot like describing a mattress: sensitive yet firm. But if it’s on the fritz, nobody is sleeping well. Reserved Virgos seem fine until the bottom drops out, which can be a nightmare for partners. On the 23rd, air out an issue instead of covering it up and everyone will wake up on the right side of the bed.