Horoscope March 2015

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    Mercury’s no good in faucets or fish, but it’s a welcome addition to overworked water bearers’ lives. The only thing the cheeky planet loves more than a naughty joke is pushing people to re-discover their smile. Stella got her groove back, now it’s time for Aquarians to find their glimmer.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    Uranus and Pluto are no Ebony and Ivory, and their union made Aries take a nasty tone with friends last month. Now that the planets are breaking up, it’s time to repair the damage. Mend any fences or hearts that were broken while under the cosmic couple’s crappy influence.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    The full worm moon on the 5th was named for the time when wiggly creatures awoke... and were promptly eaten by birds. Like Mother Nature, March giveth and taketh away. Cancers who get too comfy at work on the 19th may find themselves dodging predators that congregate at the watercooler.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Option three: Wait for a solar eclipse. Caps should take advantage of its transformative powers on the 20th and break a painful pattern that’s holding their emotions hostage.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    Marilyn Monroe famously said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” With Saturn in retrograde, now’s a good time to share that quote with patient friends and significant others. Geminis will have quite a ’tude this month and let’s just say that some like it not.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    What’s luckier than a four-leaf clover growing in a pot of gold being held by a unicorn? A Jupiter-Uranus trine, of course! The rare event comes just twice this year, and its first stop is Leo on the 14th. Fortune doesn’t always look familiar, those who embrace change will find unexpected opportunity.

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    Because scales always tip in the fairest direction, Libras flourish under rule-focused Saturn. As a result, the planet’s retrograde movement on the 14th comes as a challenge. Coloring outside the lines feels unnatural, but Librans will finally realize that they have been the Picassos of their lives all along.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    March goes out like a lamb, but Pisces doesn’t have a warm and fuzzy end to the month. Thanks to planet of rebellion, Uranus, the normally benign sign is in a particularly baaad mood on the 29th. Negativity can wooly—uh, really—cloud judgment, hold off on major financial decisions until April 1st.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    The full moon on the 5th won’t turn Sags into wolves, but it might make them weep. When a friend makes a thoughtless comment on the 6th and emotions boil over, embrace those pent-up tears. Sometimes we just need a good, long howl.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    With no fired-up planets pushing scorpions to strike, their softer sides can finally be displayed. When disappointed on the 10th, resist the urge to counter the hurt with a sting. The bite of rushed, nasty words will fade, but an unexpectedly honest reaction is almost impossible to forget.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    If Saturn had a boss, that boss would quit. Saturn’s intense problem with authority rubs off on bulls when the planet goes retrograde on the 14th. Self-control at work is the name of the game until August, when the world’s worst planetary employee finally hands Taurus its resignation.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    Know those reality shows where people are shocked to find out they’re on TV even though—surprise!—cameras are conveniently already in their home? That’s how the solar eclipse on the 20th feels. It ushers in a change that Virgos wanted, but never expected would actually happen. Talk about a DVR-worthy month!

sydney levin

Sydney Levin is an extremely attractive writer living in New York City. She enjoys noodles and sloths, although not in that order.