Jan 20—Feb 18
Mercury’s no good in faucets or fish, but it’s a welcome addition to overworked water bearers’ lives. The only thing the cheeky planet loves more than a naughty joke is pushing people to re-discover their smile. Stella got her groove back, now it’s time for Aquarians to find their glimmer.
March 21—April 19
Uranus and Pluto are no Ebony and Ivory, and their union made Aries take a nasty tone with friends last month. Now that the planets are breaking up, it’s time to repair the damage. Mend any fences or hearts that were broken while under the cosmic couple’s crappy influence.
June 21—July 22
The full worm moon on the 5th was named for the time when wiggly creatures awoke... and were promptly eaten by birds. Like Mother Nature, March giveth and taketh away. Cancers who get too comfy at work on the 19th may find themselves dodging predators that congregate at the watercooler.
Dec 22—Jan 19
Maya Angelou once said, “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Option three: Wait for a solar eclipse. Caps should take advantage of its transformative powers on the 20th and break a painful pattern that’s holding their emotions hostage.
May 21—June 20
Marilyn Monroe famously said, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” With Saturn in retrograde, now’s a good time to share that quote with patient friends and significant others. Geminis will have quite a ’tude this month and let’s just say that some like it not.
July 23—Aug 22
What’s luckier than a four-leaf clover growing in a pot of gold being held by a unicorn? A Jupiter-Uranus trine, of course! The rare event comes just twice this year, and its first stop is Leo on the 14th. Fortune doesn’t always look familiar, those who embrace change will find unexpected opportunity.
Sept 23—Oct 22
Because scales always tip in the fairest direction, Libras flourish under rule-focused Saturn. As a result, the planet’s retrograde movement on the 14th comes as a challenge. Coloring outside the lines feels unnatural, but Librans will finally realize that they have been the Picassos of their lives all along.
Feb 19—March 20
March goes out like a lamb, but Pisces doesn’t have a warm and fuzzy end to the month. Thanks to planet of rebellion, Uranus, the normally benign sign is in a particularly baaad mood on the 29th. Negativity can wooly—uh, really—cloud judgment, hold off on major financial decisions until April 1st.
Nov 22—Dec 21
The full moon on the 5th won’t turn Sags into wolves, but it might make them weep. When a friend makes a thoughtless comment on the 6th and emotions boil over, embrace those pent-up tears. Sometimes we just need a good, long howl.
Oct 23—Nov 21
With no fired-up planets pushing scorpions to strike, their softer sides can finally be displayed. When disappointed on the 10th, resist the urge to counter the hurt with a sting. The bite of rushed, nasty words will fade, but an unexpectedly honest reaction is almost impossible to forget.
April 20—May 20
If Saturn had a boss, that boss would quit. Saturn’s intense problem with authority rubs off on bulls when the planet goes retrograde on the 14th. Self-control at work is the name of the game until August, when the world’s worst planetary employee finally hands Taurus its resignation.
Aug 23—Sept 22
Know those reality shows where people are shocked to find out they’re on TV even though—surprise!—cameras are conveniently already in their home? That’s how the solar eclipse on the 20th feels. It ushers in a change that Virgos wanted, but never expected would actually happen. Talk about a DVR-worthy month!