Horoscopes April 2012

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    Aquarius (January 20––February 18)
    The new moon on the 21st is so powerful, it doesn’t matter which sign it “officially” falls in. An old friend (or flame, if you’re single) resurfaced back in February and your past turned out to be a nice little present. If you keep your cool, the relationship will stay chill, too. But old habits die hard, and if you resurrect them on the 17th, you’ll have big issues. Just like real zombies, zombie problems just bite.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    When Uranus entered last March, it flooded your sign with creative energy that has yet to recede. (In fact, you may want to roll up your pants or invest in some attractive yet functional rain boots.) That sudden influx might have felt disruptive at first, but you should be adjusting—and thriving—by now. Whether you’ve just planted the seed of an exciting idea or a big project is finally beginning to sprout, you’ve got until May 15th, 2018 to cultivate it. Happy growing!

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    When the moon is between signs, the universe is in a chaotic, unreliable state. Think of it like an old computer: If you know it could crash at any second, would you leave unsaved work on the desktop? (The answer, tech savvy pals, is no!) Prepare to shut down during the void of course moon on the 25th from 4:31pm to 1:42am. Not sure what to do when you disconnect? Look around your house for some of those ancient things with scribbles and pictures inside. They’re called books.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (December 22––January 19)
    Pluto has it pretty tough. Astronomers downsized it, and its Disney namesake is a big dog with stress-management issues. But in astrology, it’s a powerful little being that has no desire to lick you (although it would love a treat). The planet is all about transformations, like the makeover artist of the cosmos. Break out the MasterCard, because now’s the time to splurge on a new look. Having a cosmic power to back up your purchase? That’s priceless.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    Venus is all about love, but that doesn’t mean her main focus is matchmaking. (Leave that to fellow Gemini Patti Stanger.) Instead, her focus is on harmony—and she intends to bring it to your sign on the 5th, 7th, 9th, 12th and then again on the 14th to really make sure your life is on pitch. Instead of always crooning, “How can you help, do-re-mi?” at work, sing a more collaborative tune. That’s the way to move way past first chair…and straight into the boss’ seat.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—August 22)
    The new moon is pretty impressive, but that doesn’t mean the second quarter is chopped liver. When it falls in your sign on the 29th, it pushes you to actually make the moves you talked about a few weeks ago. Since you’ve got quite a laundry list, focus on the item that will have the biggest, quickest effect. Once you get your first load of updates done, you’ll feel a huge wave of relief. Just don’t mix your colors with your life changes!

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    (September 23––October 22)
    The full “egg” moon falls in your sign on the 6th this month, which means you’re about to have a lot of really, really good brunch. You’re on the sunny-side up of life thanks to a major promotion at work and you’re feeling like the whole-wheat toast of the town. By the 18th, your love life will take a delicious turn, too. Dare I say singles are about to find the egg to their McMuffin?

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (February 19––March 20)
    You really know how to make a half-man, half-horse feel comfortable, huh? Chiron, the most upstanding centaur in town, has been in your sign since 2011 and has no plans to leave until April 17th...of 2018. He’s all about spiritual healing and turning you into your best self—kind of like Oprah, but with a tail. When you’re faced with a tough choice on the 7th, it behooves you to think before you act. Your reaction could change the tone of the entire month.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (November 22––December 21)
    Mercury has its cosmic underpants in quite a twist. It’s in retrograde (or, to speak scientifically, “going bonkers”) from the 1st to the 4th, which means April doesn’t do you any favors at the outset. Still, you don’t have to take that lying down. If you put your best foot forward you can outpace that planetary bully—just be on the lookout for banana peels.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (October 23––November 21)
    Saturn is all about limitation, which really rubs you the wrong way. When the dude who created conformity enters a sign that breaks all the molds, it seems like a recipe for disaster—but it’s not. While Saturn loves structure, it also governs ambition, which you’ve got in droves. It’ll be around until December of 2014—a sign that you’re about to move into a new job where you set the limits.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20––May 20)
    As the second sign of the zodiac, Taurans often get sick of eternally taking home the silver. But when the sun enters on the 19th, everything’s coming up gold. Though you may not be presented with a wreath, you are finally first in line for a big upgrade at work. Just beware of any Tonya Harding types who may want to steal your thunder. You know what they say: Keep your friends close and your knees covered.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (August 23—September 22)
    When the moon is between signs, it’s permanently on the wrong side of the bed and no amount of zero gravity coffee can fix it. You just have to lay low until it decides to stop and smell the freeze-dried Folgers. Be extra cautious on the 30th from 10:17am to 7:02pm when the man up there is at his crankiest. Lay off signing important papers and do not make any big home-improvement related decisions until May.

sydney levin

Sydney Levin is an extremely attractive writer living in New York City. She enjoys noodles and sloths, although not in that order.