Jan 20—Feb 18
The moon takes an especially long time to move through your sign this month, slowly tossing your life into a cosmic salad spinner in the process. From 11:53am on the 21st to 2:07pm on the 22nd, nothing will be simple (and beware the flying carrots!). The only way to keep life from turning into too much of a mess is to expect the unexpected and roll with the punches.
March 21—April 19
Uninformed people may snicker at the word “Uranus,” but smarties who don’t ink nasty words in bathroom stalls know the planet’s true power. While unpredictable, it can usher in life-altering change and shake things up just when you desperately need it. When it goes retrograde in your sign on the 17th, a sensitive subject will come up again at home. And finally, you’ll know how to approach it.
June 21—July 22
Mars can be quite an annoying presence. However, you could certainly take a page out of its overbearing book. On the 13th, its aggressive tendencies help you win an office battle that you normally would have ceded to the enemy. It also juices your batteries so you can play as hard as you work during downtime. Next time Mars tries to send you a message, throw it a bone…or an emoticon.
Dec 22—Jan 19
Just like Mickey, you’re probably so tired of hearing about that pesky Pluto. The planetoid that rules power (and the abuse of it) is in your sign until 2023, helping motivate you to reach the top ladder rung. On the 27th its power is especially intense, so beware getting too big for your britches in an important meeting.
May 21—June 20
Since there’s no cosmic version of Xanax, Mercury can’t relax when it goes retrograde. July is the most erratic summer month, coming in like a lion having a nervous breakdown and going out like a lamb with detachment issues. To avoid the varying degrees of cray-cray, back up all computer files and triple-check names when texting or emailing. Communication often goes awry during a retrograde period. And you don’t also need it going viral.
July 23—Aug 22
The Katy Perry lyric “baby, you’re a firework!” never applies more than when the sun is in your sign. It lights you up from the inside, bringing a flood of good feelings and happiness on the 22nd. But unlike the radio-friendly hit, this planet gets taken off rotation by month’s end. At work and in real life, follow KP’s rules and “show ’em what you’re worth” by the 30th. Leather cat suit not required.
Sept 23—Oct 22
While the second quarter moon has yet to be immortalized in song (unless I missed something in the Top 40), it’s just as important in the cosmic scheme of things. See, the SQM shows you what needs to be changed in your life and without that insight you can’t complete projects in the full moon. On the 15th, things come to a head and someone’s true colors will show.
Feb 19—March 20
At the casino it’s a bunch of cherries, but in the cosmos, it’s the Grand Trine that brings loads of luck. The combination of Mars trine (a fancy way of saying “related to”) Neptune trine Saturn on the 20th makes for a red-letter day when you’ll feel energized and more in tune with the planet. Gifts are often associated with such an event—and though it’s no fun to unwrap the intangible ones, they’re often the best kind.
Nov 22—Dec 21
Since you archers hate to be held back, you’ll flourish in the absence of cosmic ties this month. Myth has it that the centaur was always caught in conflict between civilization and man’s animal instincts. Remember that desire when you get stuck in an argument on the 18th and resist the urge to get physical. Let your morals be your guide.
Oct 23—Nov 21
No amount of SPF can keep you from getting burned by Mercury this month. It exerts its crazy influence every single day, turning calm into chaos as it very slowly spins through. There’s no way to avoid it, but waiting until August to make big decisions can help avert a painful situation for which there’s no over-the-counter balm. Beware the 1st through 6th and the 14th through 20th, as those are the most erratic.
April 20—May 20
You may have a bullish ’tude, but you’ve got the heart of someone who can’t stand wrecking things in a china shop. Your intensity and strength in meetings have helped propel you forward at work, but you have to let down your guard at home if you want more affection from a partner. The 7th through 13th are the best days for romance, so park your bulldozer at the door.
Aug 23—Sept 22
The full “thunder” moon on the 22nd falls in your sign. Though its name isn’t so interesting (July is a month with lots of—you guessed it—thunder), its effect on you is. Like its namesake weather pattern, the moon helps you get attention when you need it on the 23rd and pushes you to out-rumble a bullish friend on the 28th.