Horoscopes June 2012

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    (January 20—February 18)
    The fourth quarter moon has a special effect on you, which means all the fantastic lunar effects with a lot less calories. It will urge you to tie up loose ends on the 11th and come to a tough career decision you’ve been fretting about since last month. This slice of moon pie is important because you can’t enjoy the rebirth that the next cycle brings until you clean this plate. You may want to go ahead and sign up for some astrological Pilates.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    Aries often make great teachers because they have a wealth of patience and can think quick on their feet. But when Uranus enters on the 11th, it tries to teach a lesson of its own. Because your strengths can often become your weaknesses, Uranus helps you find balance. Don’t fret if it takes you longer than usual to make decisions on the 8th. That’s just Uranus forcing your Energizer Bunny brain to quit banging that damn drum for a second and really think. If you don’t take a step back to see the big picture, it’s not a camera that will snap—it’s you.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    Because of all the cosmic craziness Mercury hands you on the 7th, June ushers in a period of confused communication. It’s extra important to read over emails before you send them, and be careful to fully explain instructions on the 18th. You’re extremely popular this month and a little extra effort will keep you from getting overwhelmed.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (December 22—January 19)
    It’s been all Pluto, all the time for you since the dwarf planet entered on November 26th, 2008. And since it’s sticking around until 2023, it’s obvious that what it lacks in size it makes up for in loyalty. (Or maybe it’s obsession? You are pretty cute.) Still, if you’re going to have a planetary stage-5 clinger, Pluto isn’t so bad. It has helped you find your voice in relationships and rise to power at work, and on the 18th, you’ll really feel its transformational effects. Before you give it the ol’ “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, remember, “me” is going to be a whole lot better after this long visit.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    Venus is in retrograde for 40 days every 18 months, and last month it all went down in your sign. Venus didn’t want to get stuck in a love triangle, but it did want you to reevaluate the relationships in your life. Since no major changes should be made during a retrograde period (and nothing should be started or finished), you couldn’t make moves until the 27th of this month. Now is finally the time to separate the weeds from the flowers and consider digging out anyone who isn’t adding value. It might be painful, but those with the deepest roots may need to be excavated first.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—August 22)
    When the moon is between signs, it’s not that bright potentially-full-of-brie guy you know and love. On the 21st, from 12:48pm to about 11:47pm, it’s a huge jerk trying to screw up all your plans, so don’t make any. Use those hours to win a gold medal in the Couch Potato Olympics and avoid signing important paperwork or having a conversation that could be misinterpreted. But when the clock strikes 11:48pm, that’s amore!

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    (September 23—October 22)
    Relationships are hard for Libras because they struggle to balance the time they give their partners and time they take for themselves. Luckily, you’ve been ok since March. When Saturn enters on the 3rd, it acts as a stabilizing force ensuring that your love scale doesn’t tip. You will feel wonderfully calm with the Dr. Phil of signs keeping an eye on you—but when it pulls back on the 21st you will have to take control. Remember: When it comes to love, a light touch is best.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (February 19—March 20)
    Neptune is retrograde in your sign until November, which is kind of like winning the astrological Mega Millions...but instead of making a lot of money, you get a major spiritual transformation. That’s way better than a yacht or a new house or your own private island. Good ol’ Neppy ushers in a golden period of “you,” when everything magically goes your way. You’re happier than ever, and since that is a totally infectious feeling, everyone wants to be around you. At the end of the day, fancy boats or mansions don’t make you a better person. Shoes do.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (November 22 - December 21)
    Somebody famous (I think it was someone from Real Housewives) said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” And since the full moon and total lunar eclipse on the 4th gives you major power, you’re really free to make a difference. The only downside to all this astro-autonomy is that you’ll need to be far more proactive than usual. Now that you’re finally taking the wheel of your life, you will be surprised by how far you go (and what excellent gas mileage you get).

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (October 23—November 21)
    The full “strawberry” moon on the 4th doesn’t fall in your sign—but you will still feel its sweet effects. Named for the period when Algonquin tribes harvested strawberries, it ushers in a blissful period when everything is great at work and at home. Just be sure to check your teeth for seeds before July rolls in.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20—May 20)
    Oh, you bad bull, how did you manage to lure Mercury and Jupiter back to your sign late last month? This ménage à planets meant big things for your sign and you’re finally feeling the effects. Mercury helped you solve problems—but it wasn’t in any rush. Jupiter helped your plans unfold—but it was powered by molasses. June is the time to put your hoof down and reap the benefits. Make like you’re in a china shop and go wild.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (August 23—September 22)
    Imagine withholding alcohol from a Jersey Shore star. That’s how aggressive Mars can be. And whaddayaknow, the super tan planet is juicing in your sign this month. It’s harder to be rational when Mars is around, and it’s very tempting to give in to your animal instincts. Keep that in mind when dealing with coworkers or having a big conversation with a significant other on the 4th and 21st. That’s when you’ll have the hardest time staying calm, cool and collected—and when you’ll be most tempted to fist pump.

sydney levin

Sydney Levin is an extremely attractive writer living in New York City. She enjoys noodles and sloths, although not in that order.