Jan 20—Feb 18
Did you change your perfume or cologne? Perhaps you are boycotting showers this month. Not sure how to say this but you don’t have any new planetary action in your sign. Mars has been in your sign since December, so it’s likely scaring others off. Turn a negative into a positive at work on the 18th and you’ll be on your way.
March 21—April 19
When the sun enters your sign on the 20th, it ushers in the spring equinox—a golden period for all Aries. According to ancestors who got down with astrology, this is a time when anyone can start anew. It’s important to tie up loose ends in your personal and work life so you can wipe the slate clean as a whistle. It may mean strengthening or cutting relationships, so be prepared for the pendulum to swing either way.
June 21—July 22
Since scandalous Jupiter is splitting its time between you and Gemini, you only get half the luck the planet was supposed to bring. But there’s no use crying over spilled good fortune, especially when you can make your own on the 11th. It’s nerve wracking, but if you go out on a limb for your ideas at work, the giving tree of the universe will take notice.
Dec 22—Jan 19
When the moon is void of course on a weekend, it’s kind of like astrologically enforced couch potato time. Unfortunately, the erratic period in March happens on Tuesday the 5th from 10:28am to 7:14pm. If calling in sick with Horoscopitis is not in the stars, do yourself and the universe a favor: Don’t sign a contract, conduct an interview or approach the boss for a raise.
May 21—June 20
Better add another seat to your dinner reservations every night until June 25th, because Jupiter is here to stay. (FYI, it’s currently experimenting with a gluten-free lifestyle, a gas giant’s got to watch its figure.) Annoying as a planet’s semi-permanent presence can be, you lucked out: Jupiter boosts your optimism and is a catalyst for prosperity. Stay positive at work on the 4th and you’ll be in for a monetary treat.
July 23—Aug 22
Since you’re a natural born leader with damn nice hair, you have control issues. But when Mercury goes retrograde from the 1st to the 17th, you’re no longer the big cheese. You’re more like a quality piece of Brie that must work in tandem with a cracker to achieve bliss. In other words: The harder you push for power, the faster you’ll crumble.
Sept 23—Oct 22
Thanks to a very special person, your wobbly scales have finally found some balance. According to the Farmer’s Almanac, March is host to the full “worm moon” and with that wiggly guy in your sign on the 27th you’re suddenly able to do a very impressive dance move. Since emotions can run high, try not to break it out around people who are rendered easily jealous by fabulousness.
Feb 19—March 20
After two months of dealing with a frustrating project,
“free time” is finally a notion you can become familiar with.
Go ahead and lose yourself in a project on the 16th. If you don’t flex your creativity muscle already, you could break something, which will be tough to explain to a doctor.
Nov 22—Dec 21
Venus was voted Most Popular in Horoscope High School—for good reason. When it’s around, life is all romance and snuggles and non-allergenic puppy dogs. Lucky for you, it’s been slobbering all over your sign since December. Still, love can only flourish when you’re open to it, so on the 18th, officially give up that grudge. Venus’ arrow won’t waste a flight on a heart that doesn’t want to be pierced.
Oct 23—Nov 21
As the planet of the underworld, emotional trauma and “soul haunting,” Saturn isn’t exactly at the top of most guest lists. Still, sometimes it takes a little pain to remember you’re worthy of pleasure—and that is something Saturn can serve up in spades. When an undependable friend disappoints you on the 7th, allow it to be the last time. You’re worth more than broken promises and apologies.
April 20—May 20
The Full Worm Moon isn’t in your sign on the 27th, but that doesn’t mean it won’t affect you. Named for the time when the ground begins to soften enough for bugs to reappear (how lovely), the full moon has a similar effect on your heart. You were badly hurt back in December and those wounds aren’t easily healed. But you’re stronger now and the scars are growing fainter.
Aug 23—Sept 22
It’s not you, Virgo, it’s the universe. There’s not much going on in your sign, but considering how crazy Mercury is at the moment (imagine Britney Spears circa 2007 and Lindsay Lohan circa forever), that’s a good thing. Since the 1st through the 17th will be extremely erratic, attempt to tie up loose ends by the 16th.