Horoscopes May 2012

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    (January 20—February 18)
    The fourth quarter moon is all about tying up loose ends and untangling confusing relationships—so when it enters on the 12th, it’ll help you make some strong double knots. Whether you’re actually seeing the person or they’re simply consuming your thoughts, it’s time to break free from an old, unresolved situation. It may not tie up into a neat little bow, but you’ll feel a whole lot better after the ol’ loop, swoop and pull.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    Health issues had you (or someone you live with) pretty down in the mouth this winter. But before you buy stock in Tylenol, rejoice! Uranus is making the ultimate house call all month, helping to fix what ails you with some cosmic chicken soup. As you regain your strength, start taking exercise slowly to get back in shape. You know what they say: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a walk makes your butt look damn good.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    Mercury must be on some sort of cosmic spring break (Planets Gone Wild, anyone?) because it’s nowhere near your sign. In fact, it’s completely avoiding everyone—which means there’s not a single chaotic day on the horizon! Kick back, get some fruity drinks and enjoy this wonderful break. You’re safe all the way until June 27th, but then you may want to use your teeny tiny umbrellas to brace for a raging storm.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (December 22—January 19)
    Hate to break it to you Jan Brady, but this month is still all about Pluto, Pluto, Pluto! However, resenting it isn’t the way to go. The powerful planet may not have long blonde locks, but it does have the ability to uncover secrets and the truth behind words. If you embrace it, you’ll realize a close friend or partner’s dark ulterior motive—and it sure ain’t forming a family band.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    Because everyone used to be scared of everything, the solar eclipse was once cause for major panic. It’s the time that rulers allegedly fell from grace, and a moment when darkness reigned. Luckily, we’re a lot less freaked out now, which is good ‘cause it falls in your sign on the 20th! If you’re in a position of power, be extra communicative with your staff and if you’re scared of the dark, invest in a nightlight.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—August 22)
    Just because the full moon isn’t in your sign doesn’t mean you won’t feel its effects. (The surface area of that thing is about the size of Russia, Canada and the US combined, after all.) Circle the 5th in red on your calendar—that’s the day when a goal you’ve been working toward is finally achieved or a project comes together. It can be completing something at work, finally defining a relationship or putting your finger on one of those just-can’t-put-my-finger-on-it feelings. But please don’t ask anyone to pull it afterward.

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    (September 23—October 22)
    When Saturn enters your sign on the 16th and 21st, it acts as a stabilizer, helping you balance all your work and social obligations. Libras often have a hard time handing over the reins, but you must allow Saturn to take them. With the just and fair planet at the helm, you’ll feel more secure in an ongoing relationship, and much more apt to cooperate with co-workers. Though your sign is the scale, it doesn’t hurt to have a helping hand—or planet—level you out now and again.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (February 19—March 20)
    Hot spot alert on the 12th! With spiritual healer Chiron in your sign, a major transformation is in your future. Although Chiron forces change, you’re the one making the choice. Whether it’s a new look, a new home or a new job, now is the very best time to take a leap of faith. But you’ll have to live with the consequences until April 17th, 2018—so you may want to skip the pink hair dye and cancel the yurt.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (November 22—December 21)
    Looks like all the planets are on a road trip and the cosmic coupe isn’t stopping at Sagittarius. Without all those pesky signs influencing you, you’re free from the emotional ups and downs that can make you feel completely bonkers. (That’s the medical term.) So go ahead—buy some nachos, throw on a tropical shirt and have your very own mental health fiesta! Since crazy can’t crash the party (and eat all the guac), your rager will be extra fabulous.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (October 23—November 21)
    While Saturn can wreak havoc on some signs, it’s quite at home in serious, secretive Scorpio. It began to assert its influence in October and has no plans to leave until December 24th, 2014. The ringed planet helps you run circles around your colleagues. You blew past everyone two months ago and now it’s time to maintain the lead. But remember: Not everyone loves the gold medalist. The second you forget to eat your slice of humble pie, the sooner someone will be serving it up.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20—May 20)
    The full flower moon isn’t in your sign this month, but everything’s still coming up roses thanks to Jupiter’s influence. Since you’re an earth sign and the fifth planet is a pretty big hippie, you get along famously. It’s all peace and love and experimenting with mind-altering drugs (well, if you’re into that) until Jupiter grooves on over to another sign on June 11th. Enjoy this super chill month, man.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (August 23—September 22)
    Mars must really like your scent, because it’s all about your sign this month. It drops in from the 7th-8th, on the 16th and then again on the 17th ‘cause it just can’t seem to quit you. Mars can often bring out our inner animal, reducing us to our most basic instincts. (So ladies, if you’re in a big meeting at work, try not to pull a Sharon Stone.) However, it actually forces you to focus and helps you multitask during a time when you’re being pulled in so many different directions. This will be your busiest, but most productive month.

sydney levin

Sydney Levin is an extremely attractive writer living in New York City. She enjoys noodles and sloths, although not in that order.