Aquarius
Jan 20—Feb 18
(January 20—February 18)
Neptune, the ruler of dreams, has been in your sign since 1988 and won’t find a new place to sleep until next year. While it means no harm, it clouds your ability to see the truth. There’s nothing wrong with the rose-colored glasses it’s nudging your way, but if you don’t take them off for a few minutes on the 9th, you’ll end up blind to reality. Oh, and on the 18th, the old adage holds true: If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck...it’ll probably taste great with some glazed parsnips.
Aries
March 21—April 19
(March 21—April 19)
Just like yellow lights mean “caution, slow down” (or if you’re on Vets, “speed way the hell up”), so too do yellow shaded areas of the month. When Mercury goes retrograde from the 6th to the 26th, don’t you dare cut it off. During this period we’re urged to really live in the present and assess what/who deserves to be in our future. But beware: Don’t act on your decisions until the 27th, unless you want to cause a major pileup on RT-YOU.
Cancer
June 21—July 22
(June 21—July 22)
The partial solar eclipse on the 24th may not fall in your sign, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel its weight. The great solar energy of this phenomenon will invigorate Cardinal signs (that’s you!) on a whole different level, and you’ll soon be ready to deal with the endings and rejoice in the beginnings you’re about to experience. But just as the sun is shrouded from our view for a short period of time, so too is a big, painful truth on the 29th. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll forget it.
Capricorn
Dec 22—Jan 19
(December 22—January 19)
Love may be patient and kind, but not when Venus is in town. Instead, love gets a little jealous and is convinced you’ve been looking at Aphrodite. Uh, but love digresses. When Venus enters on the 26th, practical Capricorns become suspicious of their partner/friends and fear their relationships aren’t secure. Before you lash out, reign your emotions in. “Venus made me do it” isn’t going to help your “No, really, I’m totally sane” case in the least.
Gemini
May 21—June 20
(April 20—May 20)
The Farmer’s Almanac refers to November’s full moon as the “Full Beaver Moon,” but don’t be thrown off. Those creatures may be super busy, but under a full moon, Taurans are focused on pleasure and relaxation. Technically, you should feel like you’re walking on sunshine from the 10th to the 11th—but you have to be open to those rays. If you don’t open yourself up to the relaxation, you’ll have a dam frustrating month.
Leo
July 23—Aug 22
(July 23—August 22)
The moon is like the universe’s wristwatch. As it ticks from first quarter to last, a mini circle of life rotates. When the fourth quarter rolls around on the 18th—and in your sign— this month, you must not kick and scream when a relationship you’ve worked hard on tolls its final chime. Someone new will enter on the 27th, and while they won’t immediately fill that void, they’ll wind you right back to life.
Libra
Sept 23—Oct 22
September 23—October 22)
Patience is a virtue, but alas, not one you can wrap your head around. You’re guided by impulses and you’re quick on the trigger, but when the moon’s between signs on the 20th from 5:21pm to 8:16pm, it’s essential that you refrain from all the “but I must...and I just!” things in your life. Don’t send that email. Don’t make that call. Simply...don’t. And since you may need to nail your pants to a chair in order to stop living.
Pices
Feb 19—March 20
(February 19—March 20)
Chiron (a Greek centaur who’s older than Regis Philbin now) has been surveying the scene since June 8th, and decides to enter on the 10th. But unlike his wild brethren, he doesn’t Kelly Ripa down your door. He knocks politely and ushers in a hazy period. See, while Chi was the master of healing, he couldn’t heal himself. Though a loss has left you in need of a few stitches, it’s not your time to be a patient. If you can sew up someone else’s wound, though, you may find yours are magically gone, too. (No scars, either. Ain’t no surgeon like Dr. Horo S. Cope.)
Sagittarius
Nov 22—Dec 21
(November 22 - December 21)
Solar eclipses were feared for ages, but that was before we had TV and tabloids to tell us the truth. And while it can symbolize death, it’s more about figurative endings than actual bucket-kicking (although you may want to check on the family hamster…). When the sun is partially eclipsed on the 25th, a dark truth will be uncovered. Instead of cutting someone a break, it’s time to cut ties. It sounds cheesy, but the good thing about loss is that it leaves plenty of room for incredible gains.?
Scorpio
Oct 23—Nov 21
(October 23—November 21)
When Mercury goes retrograde, it can create chaos—but how it stirs the stew depends on which pot it’s in. For Scorpio, communication with friends and family is particularly affected. From the 23rd until December 13th (and especially from the 23rd to the 30th of this month), steer clear of mixing finances and friends, and don’t make any sudden career changes. This period can feel like a punishment, but it’s really just a moment to catch up with ourselves. A time out is just what you need—and you can have dessert after if you’re good.
Taurus
April 20—May 20
(April 20—May 20)
The Farmer’s Almanac refers to November’s full moon as the “Full Beaver Moon,” but don’t be thrown off. Those creatures may be super busy, but under a full moon, Taurans are focused on pleasure and relaxation. Technically, you should feel like you’re walking on sunshine from the 10th to the 11th—but you have to be open to those rays. If you don’t open yourself up to the relaxation, you’ll have a dam frustrating month.
Virgo
Aug 23—Sept 22
(August 23—September 22)
When Mars enters on the 9th, it does so after so many cosmic cappuccinos that its buzz is palpable. Until it leaves, you’ll feel like you’ve been hooked right up to a caffeine drip. With Mars coursing through your veins, you’re incredibly productive, although not very agile. (Think Rain Man meets Kramer.) Since Virgos are perfectionists, you’ll use this astrological double shot to your advantage, and rewards will be reaped from the 18th to the 25th. Give thanks for your incredible work ethic...and your local barista.
