Horoscopes October 2011

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    Slow but steady Neptune has been in your sign for 13 years and from the 12th-15th, it wants to make its presence known. Luckily, this romantic planet is all about sparks and general warm-fuzziness, so you won’t mind. Life’s about to get super sweet, so be prepared for a flood of strong feelings (and probably a few fuzzy bunnies). But like all good love cocktails, this one has a twist and you’ve seen it coming since August. You may be surprised by whom your feelings are directed at this month. To act or not to act, that is the potentially scandalous question.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    The moon is typically between signs very briefly, but it takes only minutes to wreak total havoc. And this month, it’s stuck in the middle with you for more than a day! Forget clowns and jokers—you’ll have chaos to the left and drama to the right from 12:51pm on the 8th to 8:57am on the 10th. During those days, anything you start or finish will need to be redone, so it’s best to just make like a couch potato and veg. Who knows, you might get some decent song lyrics out of it.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    It’s said that those born in the moon’s fourth quarter are left to pick up the pieces others leave behind. When the waning moon affects you on the 19th, it may weaken your ability to say no to old friends or coworkers. And just to keep things interesting, it also cranks up your sensitive-o-meter to a blistering 11 (think Spinal Tap meets the Hallmark channel). Ground yourself by making plenty of plans with loved ones mid-month. And the next time you get an urge to help someone complete a task? Pow! Send it straight to the moon.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    Pluto has a bit of a Napoleon complex. What it lacks in size (don’t you dare let it hear you say “dwarf planet”) it makes up for in power and ‘tude. But it’s not always a benevolent king. While its influence from the 12th-15th can help push you up the ladder, it’ll just as quickly yank you right down. Still, Pluto has your back (well, except when it’s trying to stab you). It makes us more aware of other people’s motives, so before you accept a new position around the 18th, step back. Any suspicions? Don’t you dare walk that dotted line.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    It’s a relatively quiet month, with no major planetary influences, moon shenanigans or Mercury madness. In other words, trouble is not looking for you. It has no plans to call or write or tweet. But faster than you can say Mariah Carey, the drama that you’ve been secretly missing comes back with a vengeance on the 15th. Between 6:51am and 10:15am, you’ll have to deal with an attitude of epic proportions from someone you’d never expect to go batty on you. Careful how you respond: Hell hath no fury like a diva scorned.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—Aug. 22)
    Mars’ energy and desire to make an impression is well complemented by an enthusiastic Leo. From the 2nd to the 3rd, you’ll be positively buzzing with creativity. Just bee yourself in an important meeting mid-month and exciting new opportunities at work will practically fall into your lap. But of course, like all planets, Mars can sting, too. As your star rises, you may grow impatient easily, especially with a hive—er, cube—mate you don’t fully trust. Remember the old adage: You catch more work frenemies with honey…

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    Libra (September 23—October 22)
    Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most focused sign of them all? The answer is YOU, thanks to the influence of Saturn and Mercury. When they enter on the 6th, your ability to concentrate is so intense, it could be a workaholic superhero’s greatest power. (Cubicleman just never caught on, did he?) You may feel an uncharacteristic desire to be alone until the 12th so that you can truly mull over a major decision you’ve been putting off since this time last year. First, allow yourself this necessary solitude. Then, snap on your cape: You’re about to save...yourself.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (Feb. 19—March 20)
    When Chiron enters on the 9th, it’s sort of like being visited by a kindred astrological spirit. You both have a two-sidedness that can make life tricky, since you take on the light and dark of any influence. Chiron, for example, is all about healing. However, it can also be a masochist, tearing out the sutures of a previous wound. When you run into an ex around the 15th, you’ll be tempted to get all two-scoops of crazy rather than staying calm. Remember, nuts look good on ice cream, not so much on you.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
    Your independence is a strength, but those on the outside (i.e.: everyone) can view it as an almost insurmountable hurdle. Take the 1st, when Mercury is in retrograde, to let down your guard and allow others to do for you, since you won’t be able to do for yourself. (When Mercury’s in town, you literally can’t lift a finger without something going wacky.) You may find that letting people help you is quite nice. And so is being fanned…and being fed grapes.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (Oct. 23—Nov. 21)
    The new moon falls in your sign on the 26th (at 2:56pm to be exact), which means that you won’t need a costume on Halloween—you can just go as the new you. And the best part? You can rock that look long after the holiday is over. You’ve got boundless energy and a fresh outlook on life thanks to the big cheese in the sky, so don’t let toxic friends nibble away at your confidence. Those who don’t rejoice in your happiness can show themselves out. You’ve had enough tricks this year—it’s time to focus on your treats.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20—May 20)
    Taurans take their time. They stop and smell the roses, like all good earth signs. Jupiter does not. So as you amble contentedly down the path of life, it comes to pick a few hundred bouquets and strap a jetpack on your back. From the 2nd to the 3rd, you’ll be capable of living life at warp speed. Take advantage of this astrological caffeine jolt and call the chatty friend you always send to voicemail. Then, get way ahead at work. Not only will you shock the boss, but you’ll finally get to happy hour when it’s actually 5 o’clock where you are.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    I think it was Paris Hilton who once said, “There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.” And this month, that’s like, totally true! Mean old erratic Mercury typically dips in and out every month, instilling fear in the hearts of man and ex-con celebs. But, in October, it’s nowhere to be found. There’s nothing lurking around the corner and no banana peels dying to trip you. It’s time to take a risk and say what’s gone unsaid, especially to a partner or romantic interest. If you wait much longer, Romeo will grow Romeold.