May 2011 Horoscopes

  • Aquarius

    Jan 20—Feb 18

    (January 20—February 18)
    Everything’s coming up green this month—and I’m not talking about plants. Must I spell it out for you? Fine. M-O-N-E-Y. Now this cash won’t exactly rain from the heavens; it’ll come in dribs and drabs. Or if you choose to take an opportunity presented to you later this month, it may surface in a larger bundle this summer. Of course there’s no such thing as a free lunch and you’ll need to work for this bonus. Put your nose to the grindstone and you certainly won’t need to brown bag it for a while.

  • Aries

    March 21—April 19

    (March 21—April 19)
    You want to go with the flow, but upheaval at work has you wondering if you’re about to be swept away by a tidal wave of change. Luckily, the cosmos throws you a planetary life raft on the 11th. Take-no-prisoners Mercury and wise, confident Jupiter combine forces to help ensure that a big transition you’ve been dreading goes swimmingly. All you have to do is show up and put your best bikini, er, face, forward. You’re going to make quite a splash this month, so keep a towel handy.

  • Cancer

    June 21—July 22

    (June 21—July 22)
    For crabs, the only thing worse than an unplanned day is one that ends with a pot of boiling water. So on May 6th, you may as well pencil “now is the time to start panicking and pacing and sweating” into your calendar (or if you’re feeling concise: “Uh-oh”). That’s when the moon moves between signs, ushering in a six-hour period of volatility. Since starting/finishing projects, buying things or making major decisions aren’t advised when the moon is void-of-course, the 6th is a great time to brush up on staring at things and sitting very quietly.

  • Capricorn

    Dec 22—Jan 19

    (December 22—January 19)
    Pluto pushes us to realize people’s true motives, so when it enters your sign on the 20th, be prepared to see a whole different—and potentially unflattering—side of an on-again, off-again pal. The bandage holding your complicated relationship together is about to get ripped right off. And what comes next is your choice. Thanks to Pluto, you’ll realize pretty quickly if it’s worthy of being resuscitated—or if you should just step back and let the friendship flatline.

  • Gemini

    May 21—June 20

    (May 21—June 20)
    Have you been eating fertilizer? Because your entire life is about to burst into bloom. May is no walk in the park for Geminis—it’s a walk in the garden. When the sun enters on the 21st, it ushers in a period of creativity, during which you’ll grow leaps and bounds. You had a pretty low-key winter, but now is the time to walk with your head held high and a little spring in your step. It’s your golden age, Gem. In fact, your friends may start calling you July 4th—because right now, you’re quite a sparkler.

  • Leo

    July 23—Aug 22

    (July 23—August 22)
    Every month, without fail, Mercury goes battier than a cave full of, uh, bats. And as a result, signs go wild, too. But this month, no one flies too far off the handle because there aren’t any seriously erratic days brimming with chaos ahead. It’s smooth sailing except for a light batch of astrological turbulence (and a few small bags of peanuts) from the 1st to the 11th. So if you’re reading this on the 12th, you’ve already touched down safely in Normal Town. Welcome back! Are your arms tired?

  • Libra

    Sept 23—Oct 22

    (September 23—October 22)
    A few months ago, someone even Mr. Rogers wouldn’t want to be neighbors with moved back into your world. But now it’s time to quit taking the detour onto Avoidance Lane and re-enter your life. Yes, this town is big enough for the both of you. And right now, even though you think you’re in a standoff, the only things you’re dueling with are your own demons. You don’t have a single planetary influence messing things up this month, so it’s a perfect time to refocus energy on someone who’s actually important—you.

  • Pices

    Feb 19—March 20

    (February 19—March 20)
    Neptune is the eighth and farthest planet from the sun—a position you can relate to. If your spouse or significant other were the solar system, you often feel like you’re sitting in last position. But this begs the question: Why in the out-of-this world would you ever wait in line? When Neptune enters on the 12th, you’ll find the boost of confidence you need to make yourself a priority and orbit back into your own atmosphere. You don’t hover around anyone. Leave the revolving to the Earth.

  • Sagittarius

    Nov 22—Dec 21

    (November 22—December 21)
    No one asked the new moon if it wanted a young adult novel about vampire/non-vampire romance written about it. But it’s all about forgiveness and moving forward, so it’s not going to dwell. (Or ask for a cut of the profits.) And on the 3rd, it would like you to follow its lead. Yes, it stinks—wait, no, it sucks—that a family member let you down. But fuming won’t change anything. The best fix? Dust off your ego, make some fun plans and take a big old bite out of life.

  • Scorpio

    Oct 23—Nov 21

    (October 23—November 21)
    When the full moon is in Scorpio (on the 17th), it’s supposedly a downright magical time. How so? Well, you’ll gain the ability to pull rabbits out of hats and your sleeves will suddenly always have something up them. But in all honesty, you may feel a certain sixth sense tingle this month. No, you won’t see dead people—but you’ll be able to see a bit more than meets the eye. Use this feeling to get ahead at work on the 21st and to keep from falling prey to a scheme on the 28th. Note: Twitching your nose is unnecessary. But it’s fun, so go ahead.

  • Taurus

    April 20—May 20

    (April 20—May 20)
    What’s the only thing a bull hates more than a sale at a China shop? (All those discounts and it’s not allowed inside.) The color red, of course. So it makes sense that when Mars, the red planet, enters on the 12th, you may suddenly feel a bit less friendly. Use this influx of anger to your advantage by sticking up for yourself against work bullies and getting a little scrappy in the topsy-turvy rodeo of your life. Go ahead—tell anyone who gets in your way to buck off.

  • Virgo

    Aug 23—Sept 22

    (August 23—September 22)
    Your extreme independence can sometimes be mistaken for standoffishness. So this month, reach out and touch someone! (Figuratively, please.) Extend yourself at work or be the one to organize a dinner with friends and family instead of waiting around for an invite. Once people see you’re making an effort, they’ll be clamoring to reserve a spot on what’s about to be your very packed social calendar. Oh Virgo. You had them at hors d’oevres.