Jan 20—Feb 18
The lyrics “He’s making a list and checking it twice, gonna find out who’s naughty and who’s Aquarius” aren’t widely known, but they’re still true. With no nasty planetary influences around, water bearers can expect to be happy and relaxed all December long.
March 21—April 19
Uranus didn’t pack light for its trip to Aries—it brought enough wardrobe for a nine-year wake-up call. But the planet is planning to use the extended stay to watch over rams’ typically innocent hearts. On the 31st, beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing at work. Wool is so last year.
June 21—July 22
Uranus is extremely sensitive and intuitive and that power is transferred to Cancer when the planet enters on the 25th. Much like the moment Dorothy lands in Oz, the world will seem brighter and more magical. (Consult a doctor if scarecrows start talking, though.)
Dec 22—Jan 19
Mercury must be in the Chrismahanukwanzakah spirit because the typically mischievous sign has nothing but good tidings for Capricorn from the 14th through the 29th. Cluttered minds will suddenly clear and goats will enter 2016 feeling like anything is possible.
May 21—June 20
When the moon is between signs, nothing can perk it up. The lunar body is volatile from the 26th to the 27th when communication can go haywire. Any decisions that necessitate an email or a call should be put off until the 28th.
July 23—Aug 22
Though Mercury doesn’t succumb to a full retrograde meltdown in December, it does pass through a shadow period from the 19th to the 31st. Expect all signs to be on-edge and remember that staying calm is the best antidote to attitude when a pal gets snappy on the 27th.
Sept 23—Oct 22
Though the scale sign seeks fairness for others, it often gives itself the shaft by falling into a pit of procrastination. Putting off ’til tomorrow what can be done today never ends well, especially for Libras. Set the stage for 2016 by tying up loose ends by the 27th.
Feb 19—March 20
If Chiron were a party guest, it would be the oblivious centaur still hangin’ around when the lights come back on. This time it visits for eight years and forces Pisces to heal emotional wounds. When two toxic friends surface on the 8th, face them head-on.
Nov 22—Dec 21
Loose lips not only sink ships, they will torpedo a career. Mercury goads archers into saying exactly what they feel—and while that’s great for a therapy session, it’s frowned upon at work. From the 1st to the 8th, stay far away from the boss’s couch.
Oct 23—Nov 21
Venus is a matchmaker, seeking to strengthen relationships and rekindle flames. Though Scorpios are full of passion, they often forget to check and see if their partners’ love tank is full. On the 10th, be sure a significant other isn’t running on empty.
April 20—May 20
The full “cold” moon on the 25th is anything but frigid. The lunar body is keen on helping shy bulls warm up and end 2015 on the right hoof. On the 31st, the cosmos push Taurans to find their voice in a situation that would have once rendered them mute.
Aug 23—Sept 22
Jupiter, ruler of luck and risk, is much like a box of chocolate, signs never know what they’re going to get when the rings swing their way. Fortunately, Virgos are set to reap the planet’s rewards as long as they make smart decisions on the 8th and 17th.